she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
