maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
