She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
