you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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