if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
