Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
