Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
