dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize