dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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