I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
