when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
