i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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