I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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