i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize