Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
