I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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