Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
