i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
