so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
