We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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