The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
