i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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