Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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