do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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