Please, let me fuck your mom
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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