Where is the hickey?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
