So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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