All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
All the doctor said was why
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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