I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
