You can't motorboat a personality
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
