i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
