there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
