Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize