i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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