ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
