i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Someone came in the potted fern
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
