Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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