So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
