What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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