I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
