oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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