Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
