dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize