i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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