16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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