Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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