I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
