You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize