I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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