I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
