Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
