I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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