Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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