walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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