lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
