Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
