fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
