I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
