were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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