Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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