best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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