so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
