my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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